On most weekday mornings, my daughter calls us by Duo so we can talk as she and our grandchildren get ready for the day. Like any family with small children, some mornings go better than others. As we interact with them from afar, we catch a glimpse of their life – their personalities, joys and troubles. There are some days when we wince at the difficulty of the morning and others that we celebrate the joy in which they live. While we treasure these moments, the truth is that they leave us somewhat unfilled, because our interaction with the kids isn’t as deep as if we were there in person.
Then came Thanksgiving. Because of my schedule for charge conferences, we have not been able to get together with our grandchildren for a number of weeks. My mother had traveled to be with us, so we had the privilege of hosting our two grandchildren – Joanna (5) and Caleb (3) – for several days. This lead into a full immersion of all that we were missing during our Duo calls each morning. Caleb isn’t sleeping well, which means he often is tired and grumpy. Joanna, can be very sensitive at times and her feelings can get hurt easily. While they are dear to Patty and I, and we deeply love them, the three days of hosting them without their parents were trying at times. Sometimes they were little angels and other times they were downright devilish. Sometimes they would laugh and giggle and at other times they would cry and whine. Sometimes they would listen to directions and at other times they did the exact opposite of what they were told. In other words, they were completely normal children and human beings.
Upon reflection, I realized that an argument could be made that it is easier to “love” someone from a distance than being with them up close. (Being a child of a grieving and aging parent, I in no way want to minimize the hardships that are associated with caring for a person that is separated by distance.) Certainly, in our morning calls, if we hear the start of a wail from one of the kids, we can easily shorten the call. If they are being obstinate, we can dissociate ourselves from the situation because we do not have to deal with them. However, when they are present and we are with them, all these difficult behaviors are a part of the experience. But then, so are hugs, snuggles and the joy of their company.
This experience helped deepen my understanding of and appreciation for the Incarnation. I think I had a handle on the fact that Jesus left the glories of eternity for the difficulties of finitude. However, I never really focused on the complexities of what it was like living with imperfect humans. The way Jesus maintained love and compassion in the midst of our human foibles adds to the grace that his presence brought.
Jesus experienced the highs and lows of being in close proximity and deep relationship with human beings. He knew the joy of Peter’s profession that he (Jesus) was the Messiah and the complete incomprehension that suffering and self-sacrifice was a part of his mission. He encountered swelling crowds as he proclaimed the good news of the Kingdom of God, and then saw many turn away after his deeper explanation about the Bread of Life. He heard the warm cries of “Hosanna, Blessed in the One who comes in the name of the Lord,” and the shrill shouts of “Crucify him.” I cannot help but think that loving humans from the excellences of heaven would have been easier than being in our presence. Yet, in the end, he still prayed, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
The example of incarnational love, both in its difficulty and in its blessing is a model for us – personally and corporately. Care evidenced by accompaniment, kindness that includes involvement, relationships that are proximate are part of incarnational love. While there are reasons why some of our personal and corporate mission work must be done from afar, engaging and connecting with others at a personal level is at the heart of how we witness to the love of God offered in Jesus Christ. Certainly it is simpler to be a bystander in a worship service rather than engage in congregational life. It is easier to talk about decisions churches have to make than being a part of the decision-making process. Loving the least, the lost and the last (to use language from Disciple 1 Bible Study) is less complicated from a distance and with a check than being present with persons who are experiencing these situations. And yet, despite being harder, relationships that truly personal are richer because of the deep connection that is shared. Love, in its fullest sense, isn’t shared generically. It is a posture of being towards individuals.
I pray that God will bless you with a sense of the divine, personal love God has for you. May you experience, as well, the blessings of deep relationships you share with others, even if they are not perfect and sometimes they are hard.
If you would like to view past editions of Moments with Mike, follow this link: https://corridordistrictnc.org/category/from-the-ds/